My Only Sunshine

-Cindy in the first year

"MOMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE! " It's my 3- year-old daughter's highpitched whine. She has been playing in the bathtub quietly for about twenty minutes, occasionally singing or humming or telling one of her plastic animals a story. I get a few brief moments to complete a thought or two.

"I need to get out to pee!" she urgently intones. Getting up from my blog attempt and shuffling to the bathroom, I help her get out and seated. She sits there for a few minutes. "I was wrong- I don't need to go- I need something else."

"What then?"I hear the impatience in my voice. She gets off the toilet and plops her wet body in my lap. Softly she begins to sing:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You keep me happy when skies are gray
You never know friend how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

Blue eyes sparkle with joy as she pats my cheek with her small hand (which I notice to my chagrin has lost most of its baby chubbiness.) She croons to me with love and conviction, as if I am the child, and she, the doting mother. I am returned to wholeness, to purity, to a time when the world had not shamed me into submission and compromise.

It's been said that the love of a mother is the closest thing on earth to the love of God. In that moment, however, I realized that a child's love is closer still because it is absolutely untarnished by what passes for life.

"I'm finished now, mommy. That's all the words I remember. I'm sorry." she apologizes.

"That's ok, sweetheart. That's all the words mommy needs. Forever and ever..."


TikiTam- in a serious moment