News you can abuse from the SOUR GRAPES GAZETTE.
TED KENNEDY'S STOMACH DECLARED OFF LIMITS: TOURISTS EVACUATED FROM MARTHA'S VINEYARD
(Sour Grapes Gazette)
Straining seams inevitable..
Uber elitist and perpetually puffy political pontifcator Ted "who took my KFC Big Bucket?" Kennedy broke through police barriers yesterday, traumatizing visitors to trendy Martha's Vineyard. Police immediately sealed off the beach, declaring it "unsafe" while ferries evacuated hundreds of tourists.
One visitor from Missouri, exposed to the gargantuan gut, was flown by life flight helicopter to Boston General Hospital where she is undergoing intensive therapy for acute Fat Liberal Exposure Syndrome (FLES).
Government Employee: Federal Paper Reduction Act Not One of Our Best Efforts
Federal whistleblower Macie Duvall decided to
go public with yet another government failure
(SOUR GRAPES NEWSDESK)
STONERS PETITION GOVERNMENT FOR LAND GRANT: PROPOSE NEW NATIONAL PARK