Bono Admits Faking His Own Relevance- Says
"I Really Don't Know What the Hell I'm Going on About."
Bono: "Without these bitchin'
shades I'm just another Bob
(Sour Grapes Digest Special Report)
U-2 front man Bono has shocked the entire fading rock star galaxy by publicly admitting that no one gives a shit what he thinks- not even him.
Bono confessed to having desperately grabbed for the straws of relevance by sermonizing on a variety of complex topics ranging from global warming to reducing third world debt.
"Face it- U2 and I ceased to matter about fifteen years ago," He told reporters at a press conference in Sydney. "We've grown up- we know that we don't make a difference; that we are only a blip on a crowded pop star radar screen. Without these bitching shades I'm just a Bob Geldofesque caricature- a balding, middleaged former rocker with bad taste in clothes and lumbago, " he said.
Bono's admission comes on the heels of his latest foray into international politics- a protest aimed at forcing the United States to repatriate Australian terror suspect David Hicks.
"I don't know David Hicks, I don't know what he did. Maybe he was a terror suspect. Dunno.. It just seemed like a good way to make me feel as if people really cared about my opinions," he sighed.
(in the YUCK DOUBLE YUCK) category...
Naked man arrested for concealed weapon
(you really don't want to know..)
November 4, 2006
EL CERRITO, Calif. --
A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors -- naked -- and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.