PIMP YO NATION

Story courtesy of THE SOUR GRAPES GAZETTE

RUMSFELD TO HOST NEW REALITY SERIES
(Washington, DC)

Casting aside his image as the most buttoned-down conservative ever to hold the post of Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld today announced that he will host a hip new reality show on MTV.

"The working title of the show is "PIMP YO NATION "and will feature Rumsfeld on the road in various countries, attempting to persuade reluctant citizens to have their countries "made over." said executive producer Mark Burnett. "We think that Rumsfeld's quick wit, quirky humor, and the presence of an entire Marine Division will ensure a hit." He said.

For his part Rumsfeld is enthusiastically embracing his role as "Rum-Don DMC Bad Mutha Enfohsa of Da Free World and Shit." He has been taking ebonics language courses and listening to hip-hop nonstop. He offered his new version of the Pledge of Allegiance to reporters.

"Ah done be pledgin' allegiance to da Flag o da United States o America n' ta da Republic fo' which it stands, one Nation, Beneaf God,indimuhvisible,wiff liberty an'justice fo' all." Rumsfeld recited. "How was that?" he asked.

Declaring himself to be "da bomb", Rumsfeld said he hopes that his newfound coolness will result in millions across the globe "jocking the style of America, word."

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