Forget Darfur, Iraq and Afghanistan (yawn) are old news, National ID Cards? Ok- as long as we can get them with scenic designs on the front- like those VISA cards.
Here are some recent important discoveries, made by Americans- the folks who gave the world Ryan Seacrest, Pepsi Crystal, the Thighmaster, and the Flo-Bee and some life changing news stories.
Study Reveals Why Raw Garlic is So Pungent
Scientists have finally figured out what makes garlic stink. Guess what?- IT'S CHEMICALS IN THE GARLIC what does it. WELL GOLLLLLLLEEE! Who'd have thunk that's why the garlic stunk??
Now THIS is important stuff, people. Get the whole smelly story here:http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20050525/sc_space/studyrevealswhyrawgarlicissopungent
Oliver Stone Arrested on Drug, DUI Charges
GASP!!! A left-embracing Hollywood director does DRUGS? Oh my God- what is the world coming to? And he drives his Mercedes while drunk? YIKES! I betcha he even dyes his hair, too. I read somewhere that the chemicals in dyes can cause brain damage over time- perhaps that is what is wrong with some of those Hollywoodenheads.
And while I am sure TOM CRUISE is a paragon of intellectual depth and one heckuva social activist er......
CRUISE: DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I AM A SCIENTOLOGIST
Cruise Launches War on Psychiatrists
Tom Cruise has declared a public war on psychiatrists because he fears the "pseudo-science" has led to a drug-fuelled crisis for today's children. The movie hunk was diagnosed as dyslexic when he was just seven, and doctors suggested he should take drugs to control his learning problems. Memories of that part of his childhood fuelled Cruise to seek alternative ways of overcoming his dyslexia - a problem that led him to the Church of Scientology's educational programs. Becoming a scientologist in 1984 made the actor look closely at the controversial religion's anti-psychiatry stance, and he has since become a firm believer that the science and the medicating of children is wrong. Speaking exclusively to US news show Access Hollywood as part of a week-long special about his scientology beliefs, the movie hunk declares, "I'm going right after psychiatry and these false labels and this pseudo-science. I was diagnosed as dyslexic; I had a lot of energy as a child. They wanted to put me on drugs... Never did; my mother said no, absolutely not, no way and I'm thankful. Had I been put on those drugs, I never would be here today... I never would have had the career that I'm having. Am I making people aware of it by discussing it openly and saying what a fraud psychiatry is? You bet I am. I feel a responsibility because I care..." The actor also maintains that poor results in education in America can be blamed on mind-altering drugs that are given to children. He adds, "SAT (exam) scores have gone right down the toilet. The parents are blaming the teachers, the teachers are blaming the parents and the psychs are putting everyone on drugs."
WILL NICK LEAVE JESSICA'S BREASTS???
Nick (with Jessica and her breasts)
denies rumors of a split
WHY OH WHY DO WE CARE?
Dennis Rodman to vie for Wife-Carrying World Championship title
Mon May 30, 2:52 PM ET (YAHOO News
Former US National Basketball Association star Dennis Rodman will take part in the 2005 Wife-Carrying World Championships in Finland in July, organisers said.
The whimsical annual event resembles a 250-meter (yard) steeplechase in which the "wife" rides upside down on the runner's back with her legs slung over his shoulders for maximum speed.
Rodman, aged 44, quit the NBA in 2000 and is known for his escapades.
But don't expect Rodman to walk down the aisle just for the event: he will be allowed to borrow a "wife" if he is neither married nor engaged in time for the championships on July 1-2.
Women must be at least 17 years old and weigh at least 49 kilograms (108 pounds) in order to qualify.
"It was Rodman himself who contacted us. He's tried just about everything, but not this," a spokesman for the organising committee, Eero Heinaenen, told Finnish news agency STT.
The competition takes place in Sonkajaervi, a small lakeside town located 500 kilometres (310 miles) north of the Finnish capital Helsinki.
The world record is held by Margo Uusorg and Birgit Ulricht of Estonia, who completed the race in 55.5 seconds.