Tuesday, June 07, 2005
News Vat You Can Use
CALIFORNIA ANNOUNCES NEW AFFORDABLE HOUSING PROGRAM
(Exclusive to SOUR GRAPES GAZETTE)
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announced today the introduction of the CRAPPERS ON WHEELS (COW) project, designed to provide affordable work/defecate units to lower income citizens.
"Our goal is to be able to haf enuf of dese units to hows owah lowah income peoples who do the jobs dat do not pay so vel, such as teachahs, bahtendahs, fost food wuhkuhs, truck drivahs, and udders. Dey need a place wheh dey can relox on de john aftah a hahd day being turned down for home loans. Ve vill bowoh from owah edoocation fund fo dis project. " said Schwarzengger at a recent press conference.
Units are expected to be affordably priced at $450,000 and are equipped with solar power, MP-3 players, and wireless internet. Waste materials from the units will be shipped back to Sacramento where they will be mixed with political promises and resold in the next election.