Sunday, June 12, 2005

Stupid Rich People Tricks

"Such a racket this modern art is!"

Friedman "Bar of Soap With Pubic Hair"

In May, at the annual spring auction at Christie's in New York City, Massachusetts artist Tom Friedman managed to sell a piece consisting of an ink squiggle on a 12-by-18-inch piece of white paper (described in the Christie's catalog as "starting an old dry pen on a piece of paper"). It was sold for $26,400, according to a Washington Post report.

Friedman was less successful in offering a 2-foot white cube that contained, on one surface, a tiny speck of his own feces, for which he expected an opening bid of $45,000, but got no takers.

"I am not astonished," said Clive Canada-Worthington, III, a prominent art appraiser. "At that price, savvy art collectors expect a full-on bowel movement at the very least," he sniffed.

Wothington said that Friedman's latest masterpiece "Buggers on Bologna in Blue" should fare better, representing as it does the lot of the totured, oppressed worker. "I think it will go for about $50,000, " he said.

tiki: (found this interesting but disturbing bio for Friedman)
This biography from the Archives of AskART:

"Tom Friedman, conceptual artist, uses everyday materials including sugar cubes, soap powder, toothpicks, construction paper, spaghetti, bubble gum, hair, tooth paste, and toilet paper.

Friedman, who rarely titles his work, employs a labor-intensive technique related to process art, and creates humorous and elemental works out of
materials that typically don't get human attention. For instance, a glob of bubble gum is stuck to the floor and stretched to the ceiling.

"Hey! Didst thou check for seeds and stems, Zachariah?" Amish kids learn to roll
joints prior to rowdy party last Saturday night.

Cop bolts rowdy party after facing cussing Amish kids

Officer Milton Kellerman reported Sunday that he'd gone overnight to 10051 Creaser Road in Bloomfield Township in response to a complaint about a "loud Amish party."

He saw 200 to 300 people at the party, which included "lots of alcohol and kids running around," a barn "jampacked" with kids drinking beer and youths breaking bottles in the driveway.

No one would cooperate with the officer who, at one point, said he was surrounded by about 25 kids. The young people swore at him; Kellerman returned to his cruiser and left.

"Can you blame him?" Altiere asked, saying the deputy did nothing wrong by leaving.

The sheriff's department has a contract with a handful of the northern Trumbull townships for Kellerman to patrol, seven days a week, 7 p.m. to 3 a.m.

"This is the first time that's ever happened," Altiere said of his deputy's encountering such a large rowdy bunch and leaving. "He knows we're low on manpower. I think, if he had it to do over again, he would have called for mutual aid."

The sheriff said he doesn't believe the situation would have gotten so far out of control as to endanger Kellerman's life, but a few kids threatened to make him a quilt.

According to that police report, the owner of the property said he didn't know underage drinking was occurring. He had invited 50 people from work to a party and had purchased whiskey and beer — but didn't furnish alcohol to everyone. He charged $5 a person to those invited, to cover the alcohol cost.

Miller said people showed up uninvited. (DUUUUUUUUH!)

The property owner was advised by the sheriff's department that he's responsible for what occurs there, and could be cited into court in the event of underage drinking or should someone be hurt.

Miller "said he is not going to have any more parties," the report states.
Summer is routinely a time for parties and the rural Amish are no different as their youths look for new experiences, Altiere said. The situation last weekend, though, is the worst the department has seen, he noted.
"They party. Every weekend, they're going someplace," the sheriff noted. "The thing is, if they get intoxicated, the horse knows the way home."

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