If You Can't Persuade 'Em- Shame 'Em

Dennis Smythe-Wickerford worries that his pack-a-
day habit will affect the bloodflow to his penis which
might be a factor should he ever have the opportunity to
have sex.

SMOKING MAKES YOU LESS SEXY, BRITS CLAIM

LONDON (Reuters) -

The British government launched a series of tough anti-cigarette adverts Friday with the message that smoking is bad for your sex life because it makes men impotent and women ugly.

The campaign is designed to target young Britons' fears about their sexual attractiveness -- an area the government says is more effective than highlighting general health concerns.

"Lung cancer, hardened arteries, asthma.. None of these warnings seem to do the trick. But talking about early wrinkles and sagging penises really got the smokers attention!" exclaimed Dr. Samuel Davies, director of the government's smoking cessation program. "These vain, mindless little children are so easy to nanny, it's pathetic," he said.

One ad uses a burning cigarette end between two "fingerlegs" as a metaphor for a penis with the strapline "Does smoking make you hard? Not if it means you can't get it up."

Another targets women saying cigarettes lead to premature skin aging and warns that smoking causes "cat's bum mouth."

"The cat's bum reference was a stroke of genius, I think. It is kind of disturbing that so many people understand what a cat's bum smells like, but whatever works.." said Diana Wainwright, who designed the ad campaign.

"We know 70 percent of smokers want to stop smoking, however, with younger people, fears about attractiveness and fertility can be a stronger motivation to quit than fears about health," said Public Health Minister Caroline Flint. The government says smoking increases the risk of erectile dysfunction by around 50 percent for men in their 30s and 40s and that up to 120,000 British men in this age group were impotent as a result of smoking.

A recent survey by NHS Smoking Helpline also found two-thirds of young men and women, and over half of smokers, said smoking reduced sexual attractiveness.

Some, however, disagreed, saying the sight of a hot bird sucking on a cigarette was extremely sexy.

"I mean, all the hookers I use smoke and they are still very sexy. Even the older ones. I never notice the cat's bum smell at all," said Stephen Harwell of Greenwich.

Officials plan to tackle meat-eating next with the tagline "No steak before that date," "Eating meat makes your breath smell like dead cow's bum," and the subtle "Meat Isn't Good for Your Meat."