FROM THE BULLSHIT FILES- LAWS ARE FOR THE REST OF YOU SCHMUCKS!
Gov. Schwarzenegger welcomes the Nanny General to
(Sacramento, California- SOUR GRAPES GAZETTE)
Announcing his plan to strip California teens of their daily junk food, California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger called the state and the entire country a "beeg vat collection off girly men with beeyuh bellies and soft, vat tushes."
"Ant dere is no reason foh Caleefoynah to be dat way. Ve haf bicycle trails heyuh, running tracks, tennis, climbing valls, gymnasiums, ant many activities. And dat is just at my Los Angeles compound!" exclaimed Schwarzenegger.
"I am going to eliminate all off dese junk foods from owah schools, owah bus stations, owah hospital cafeterias and replace it with government sanctioned healthy substitutes." said Arnold, while the attorney general looked on approvingly.
"To those who vould oppose me, who call me a hypocrite and an elitist, I can only say, "Do as I say and not as I do," said the governor, flexing slightly underneath his tan Versace suit.
After outlining his plan of forced health and compulsory exercise, Schwarzenegger then retired to to his "smoking tent" to share a 50-ring gauge private label Churchill cigar and a glass of 20-year-old port.
(THE REAL STORY BELOW)
In May, the San Diego Union-Tribune filed this report on their website:
– Perhaps nothing symbolizes the up and down political fortunes of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger better than his "smoking tent" – his deal-making lair set up in a courtyard outside his Capitol office.
Last year, Democrats competed for a chance to sit in the tent with the popular governor. They'd talk policy, smoke one of Schwarzenegger's coveted custom label cigars and maybe, just maybe, bring a few home as souvenirs.
Schwarzenegger experiencing declining poll numbers and fierce partisan battles, some Democrats are trying to shut down the tent.
Critics view it as a monument to an unhealthy habit.
"It's quite obnoxious," said Assemblyman Juan Vargas, D-San Diego, whose office overlooks the tent and courtyard.
Vargas is carrying legislation that would force the tent to be folded. The bill passed its second committee Wednesday, winning the votes of all the Democrats on the Assembly Appropriations Committee.
The bill, AB 616, would ban smoking in enclosed courtyards of state buildings. Under current law, smoking is prohibited within 20 feet of an entrance to a public building, forcing the tent to be placed in the middle of the courtyard.
"A cigar is simply a cigarette on steroids. It's just as bad. It causes cancer," said Vargas, who said he has never been in the tent. "I do think the example he sets is a poor one."
The Republican governor's press secretary, Margita Thompson, said this is not an issue for most Californians. "When the people of California elected him governor, they knew he liked to smoke cigars. He's an adult," she said.
Last year, anti-smoking activists protested the tent outside the Capitol, carrying photographs of well-known smokers who have died and a headstone labeled "Your Name Here."
Last fall, the artificial grass installed in the tent and courtyard was initially blamed for causing flooding after an unusual heavy rainfall. Later, it was determined that bad drainage caused the flooding, Thompson said.
Despite the controversies, she said, the tan-colored tent, equipped with a heater and a fan, has played a key role in deal-making at the Capitol.
This week, Schwarzenegger and state Sen. Gloria Romero, D-Los Angeles, credited the tent with providing a friendly atmosphere for working out the details of a bipartisan prison reorganization plan. They believe the plan could fix the state's troubled prison system.
"Thank you for coming down to the tent and smoking a stogie with me," Schwarzenegger told her at a news conference Tuesday at Folsom State Prison. "It just shows you all the things we can accomplish in that tent."
"We smoked cigars and talked about reform," she said. "This was the white smoke coming from the tent and it meant that hope was on the way."
During her tent session, Romero tried smoking a cigar for the first time.
It was a fine cigar. I felt OK, but I thought I'd better go out and get something to eat," she said.
Romero said she doesn't plan to back Vargas' bill. She said the governor needs a quiet place to chat informally with legislators, staff and visitors.
For his part, Schwarzenegger vowed to keep the tent in place.
"This is my negotiation tent and no one is going to take that away," Schwarzenegger said in an interview with Fox News on Sunday. "Just remember one thing. They can pass all the bills they want. There's one person who has to sign it. That's me."