DeSaulnier Watch

Concord, Ca-THE SOUR GRAPES GAZETTE)


Sunday, February 05, 2006

4-year-old Lucas Torres-Rivas says TR's burgers and shakes give him
a competitive edge as a wrestler. He opposes the menu revisions
and says he will no longer patronize the establishment.


DESAULNIER'S RESTAURANT TO SWITCH TO STRAIGHT VEGAN MENU:BAR TO BE REPLACED WITH WHEAT GRASS DISPENSER

In an effort to bolster support for his initiative to ban fast food restaurants in Contra Costa County, supervisor Mark DeSaulnier has announced that his popular Concord restaurant is going vegan.

"I am excited that TR's will unveil a totally revised menu, devoid of our most popular items such as giant cheeseburgers, onion rings, and shakes. Instead, our patrons will be treated to such delicacies as Brussels Sprouts and Cauliflower in Faux Beurre Blanc with a side of creamed leeks. Yum! I can't wait to try it myself, "enthused the supervisor.

Gone also will be TR's famous bar, with its large selection of draft beers and cider.

"We will now have a serve yourself wheat grass machine and a smoothie bar. Our meat-eating, beer- quaffing clients will be so amazed by the quality of our new offerings that they won't even notice that the reubens, spaghetti with meatballs, and ribs are missing," said DeSaulnier.

Plans to revise the menu were greeted with rolled eyes and sighs of disbelief by current patrons.

"It is incredible the lengths to which DeSaulnier and his ilk will go in order to get votes," said Mario, a city worker and longtime customer."

"I for one would not pay my hard-earned money for a helping of Roasted Artichoke Hearts in Raspberry Coulis served with a shot of fresh wheatgrass juice. I need my beer after work, " he said. Mario said he plans to switch to Claim Jumper once the new TR's menu is in place.

DeSaulnier is convinced with the right scare-tactic marketing, patrons will flock to his restaurant, seeking healthier alternatives to things that actually taste good."I am hoping that I don't lose a penny in profits," he admitted. "We need to do something about obesity now, before swimsuit and shorts season begins. I for one am sick of seeing those thunder thighs and fat asses strolling all over our county," he stated.