Sunday, January 29, 2006

Faux News Special Edition

COUPLE DISCOVERS THAT DYSON VACUUMS REALLY DON'T LOSE SUCTION



Candace Bushnell suggests a
new use for the Dyson DC-14
gifted to her by her doofus
husband.

(Flint, MI) SOUR GRAPES GAZETTE

Carpenter Bill Bushnell did the unthinkable: he bought his new bride Candace a household appliance for Christmas.

"Men think electronics and gadgets and things are way cool gifts to get. I never imagined that women do not feel the same," said Bushnell. "In retrospect, though, I do seem to recall my mother throwing a toaster she got for her birthday off the roof of our building," he said.

Candace, although somewhat dismayed by the gift, had a sense of humor about the whole situation. "She suggested that the Dyson's constant suction might be beneficial to my sex life, especially since it will be a very long time until she is willing to assist me in this area. " stated Bushnell.

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