Wednesday, April 26, 2006


Katrina's mouldering carcass attracts leaches from Maine to California; scent of money lingers enough to draw politicos...

Governor Schwarzenegger has
been busy bulking up and is
"ready to kick some oss!"

Governor bulks at talk, calls for action on levees

By Tiki Tam de Leeuw


(SACRAMENTO)- "There's Gold in Them There Levees"

Bulking up in order to "kick some serious Bush oss," California Governor and Fauxpublican Arnold Schwarznegger says federal officials still are not taking seriously the threat of a failure in California's aging levee system.

"They are risking a New Orleans-style disohster by failing to provide vunding for repeers, " Gov. Schwarzenegger said Tuesday. "And I am so very pissed about it, " he added.

During a visit to California last week, President Bush turned down the governor's request for a pre-emptive federal disaster declaration, saying he is sick and tired of everyone invoking the Katrina Kash Kow Kard.

"Man, these people are really milking this thing for every last dime," the President complained.

Arnold admitted that " I am dismayed and upset at Dubya. If Kelifoynya levees break I will be likely to kick some majah oss," he stated.

Schwarzenegger also met privately with Bush, but he said Tuesday that the message isn't resonating with the administration. He did not mention the president by name, but savvy reporters concluded he was speaking about Mr. Bush.

"That guy in Wahshingtone hass told me to vuck off on numerous occasions, said Schwartzenegger." He added: "The federal government still is not getting the message . I want moah money to bolance this godawful f-ed up Kelifoynya budget. I want to dwayne the toxpayahs moah and make them pay for owah stupidity and owah worship of unions heah in Kelifoynya," he concluded.

Administration officials say the type 0f pre-emptive disaster declarations wanted by Schwarzenegger have never been issued except when a catastrophe was imminent.

Schwarzenegger has said that despite being dissed by Bush, the state will begin strengthening the levees in June.

"Vuck him and all his girly men!" exclaimed the governor as he left for his private cigar room.

Meanwhile, in Washington DC. Schwartzenegger crony DIANNE FEINSTEIN has amazed everyone with her uncanny ability to siphon off tax dollars for California before anyone realizes what has happened.

Feinstein said Tuesday that she hopes t0 suck out another $14 million, but the total would still be less than Schwarzenegger has sought from the feds.

"Man, it's good to be a gangstah," said Feinstein, smiling.

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